


Stay with me

by Fallenstar126



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Hospitalization, Kleptomania, Lots of stuff goes down, M/M, Mavin Fic Bang, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia, Self Harm, Suicidal characters, and this is probably a really bad representation of a mental hospital, family abuse/abandonment, so keep that in mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenstar126/pseuds/Fallenstar126
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin is a recovering schizophrenic, who goes into relapse, and forced to leave his home. They take him to a nearby mental hospital, where he is forced to be roommates with this prick named Michael, who is there for attempting suicide. How Gavin is going to fight of his hallucinations, while dealing with this asshole, is lost on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my fic for the Mavin fic bang, I had a lot of fun with it! ^-^ All arts made by: http://lockedinapaddedcell.tumblr.com/ And I thank them so much, I love them >w>  
> Disclaimer: I have never been in a mental hospital, so I cannot say this is a valid representation of it, it's probably very off. No offence was meant with this fic, and I do not recommend going to a mental hospital unless you need it ??? 
> 
> But yes this was what I did all summer.
> 
> I am putting myself through college rn, so if you have a spare few dollars, maybe toss me a couple bucks for a coffee! http://ko-fi.com/humanwreakage

 Gavin Free had been taken to the hospital by his roommate, Ray, the night he had a relapse of the hallucinations. Most of them lucidly appeared calm enough, but who knew where they could lead him. Before he had been admitted, they had lead him to the ledge of his window, whispering in his ear, jump, no one will miss you, just do it. That's where Ray came in.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing up there?!" Ray yelled when he walked into the room. They had been planning on playing a couple rounds of Halo together, and he had just gone to get a couple snacks from the store down the block. Gavin came back to his senses, and started to ignore them again, climbing down.

“Sorry... I just thought I heard something...” He glanced at the little girl who wore a small frown, her eyes filled with tears

“I thought you wanted to play... Gavvy, please come play with me...” She whimpered, walking closer, and playing her hand on Gavin’s knee. He quickly shook it off, causing Ray to look at him strangely.

“Are you sure that you’re okay Gavin?” He asked, putting a can of pop on the table. Gavin knew that the tattooed man was standing behind him, trying to get his attention, but tried to ignore them.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine... Just a headache I guess.” He said, trying to push the three hallucinations back to the crevices of his mind. He had managed to go this long without them, why were they suddenly appearing now? Ray scowled before reaching over and grabbing the TV remote, turning it on. It seemed like all hell broke loose then, Gavin’s hallucinations overpowering him, as he clutched his head. The static on the TV seemed to make them worse. Ray looked alarmed, gripping Gavin’s shoulder. His face melted away into something horrific in Gavin’s mind, causing him to shriek and jump towards the tattooed man.

These people had been his family once, when he had been alone. They would care for him, as much as hallucinations could. But ever since he had started ignoring them, they became vicious, and angry. They would snap at him, and slap him on the back of his head trying to get his attention. But he had been able to handle it, at least until he was alone. He would whisper to them in the dark, where they became docile again, sometimes the little girl cuddling in next to him, and asking him to read her a bedtime story, or Geoff- the tattooed man- would sit and talk about work. Apparently he played video games for a living, which didn’t seem logical to Gavin, but he just agreed, because who wouldn’t want that kind of job. He enjoyed talking with his make believe family, but-

He felt himself being picked up off the floor, and heard the faint sounds of Ray talking on his cell phone, the jingling of keys. But in the forefront of his mind, all he could hear was Geoff, and his wife, Griffin, hissing and telling him how awful he’s been to them. He could hear Millie, their daughter, sniffling quietly in the background.

“Don’t take uncle Gavvy away!” She sobbed, clutching at his hand that had fallen out of his lap. He was honestly surprised that Ray could carry him, though he was a quite small person, so really, he shouldn’t be.

“Gavin you little shit, get the fuck back here!” Geoff said playfully, punching Gavin in the shoulder gently. He was obviously pleased that he had his attention, which he could talk all he wanted without being ignored. Gavin tried to move, tried to get away from Ray, but found himself glued to his spot in the back of an ambulance. Ray was sitting beside him, and the halli- his family were standing beside him. Griffin had been quiet this entire time, sharing a sympathetic look with him. Griffin knew how much of a hassle her family was on him, and tried to stay generally quiet. He honestly didn’t mind Griffin at all.

“Gavin, you there buddy?” Ray asked, leaning over him, worry creasing his face. Gavin nodded his head as much as he was able, as he was still basically frozen to his spot. He could wiggle slightly, but really couldn’t move besides that. At least he was gaining some control to his body.

 

 

“We’re going to get you to the hospital and checked out, okay? Just hang in there.” Gavin nodded again, his eyes flicking to Griffin, who leaned over, hushing him.

“Just stay quiet Gavin, I’m sorry...” Gavin nodded again, closing his eyes, trying to block out Millie’s constant talking.

“Gavin Free, yes?” One of the attendants said, tapping away on the computer beside him. Ray nodded, as Gavin felt his hand clench. He knew what they would find in his medical file, but had tried so hard to keep it from his friends, and now everyone would know.

“Oh dear...” the attendant said, and Gavin tried to relax himself, knowing what his next words were going to be. “I believe your friend is going to the wrong place... You know he’s a schizophrenic, right?” Gavin knew that Ray looked confused now, and any second they would be arriving at the hospital, meaning this was basically the only time that Ray could react.

“I didn’t know that, but he is going to be okay, right? He’s not going to die because of this, not yet at least, right?” Confused, Gavin tried to move his head, but Griffin placed a gentle hand on his head, watching Ray.

“Well, yes, but it may take a couple months to get him transferred to the mental institute, and by that time, it might be too late.” Any second now, Ray would be saying goodbye to Gavin, the crazy person.

“Alright, I’ll stay with him then.” Gavin again tried to turn to face Ray, but again stopped by Griffin, who was smiling. Millie was now singing quietly to herself, tugging on the side of Gavin’s jeans.

“Gavvy wavvys crazy wazy”

“No... Stop Millie...” Gavin whispered, able to loll his head to the side to look at the girl, who was watching him with wide innocent eyes.

“Did you say something Gav?” Ray asked, inclining his head. Gavin shook his head quickly, attempting to move his hand to rest on his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me Gavin? I could have known where to take you... in case this happened.” Gavin shook his head again, knowing that if he had told Ray originally, he never would have established the friendship he had now, and was about to lose.

They had Gavin in an empty room, one chair sitting in the corner. Ray had been forced to leave the room while he got ‘settled in’. Honestly he would give anything just to have someone else in the room, besides his hallucinations. He could hear Ray arguing with someone outside, who was insisting that Gavin needed to be alone.

“Please let him in...” Gavin mumbled softly to himself. Griffin placed her hand on his, causing his head to throb angrily. It was quiet again, as Ray was forced out to the waiting room again with an angry thumping noise that Gavin knew was Ray trying to slip past the nurse but slamming into the wall by mistake. It was silent, except for Millie standing beside him, humming a song. Geoff was standing near the door, leaning on the wall. He looked extremely disappointed, and it became clear that he was when he began to talk.

“Well, here we are again Gavin, huh? In a hospital; waiting for the white room and strait jackets to come, right? You know, this is such a stupid place. They think keeping you in a white room for a couple months is going to help with this. Therapy, ha; they’re all just little stupid minds, running around, trying to fix something they can’t. We’re here forever, remember? You’re the one who made us. You’re the one who invited us into your mind; you don’t think we’d leave so easily, right? We’re not just your little playthings. You can’t just snap your fingers, and we’ll be gone, understand that Gav? You brought us here, and some small place in your mind doesn’t want us to leave, and even when that small place goes kaput, we’ll still be here.” Gavin shivered slightly, and rolled over, trying to ignore Geoff, who continued to taunt him. There had to be some way to get rid of them, there just had to be. Gavin would do anything to get rid of these people. Gavin glanced down at Millie, who was staring up at him with wide eyes, tears brimming.

 

 

“Gavvy wouldn’t make us leave, right mummy?” She asked, looking up at Griffin, who didn’t respond. Gavin felt instant guilt flood over himself, he couldn’t just force these people to leave, and they were people too... Right; or was that just the hallucinations talking? He honestly couldn’t be too sure right now. The room was silent for a while, Griffin had no comforting words anymore, and Geoff was just fuming quietly. Millie seemed worried, sitting on the ground and playing with a few cords down there. Gavin wished that someone else was in the room, so he could talk to them, and keep his mind occupied. But there was only silence, until the creak of a door sounded.

“Hello there Gavin; my names Nurse Holly, I’m going to be taking care of you until you transfer!” A cheery voice said as a short woman walked into the room. Her hair was to her shoulders, and she wore a pair of thick rimmed glasses. Her lips were petite, as was most of her, and she had a tan that was quickly fading away in the cold of the winter. She didn’t wear makeup, and her eyes looked tired. Her face had the faint lines of soon to be wrinkles, and she had a couple scratches on her legs, as well as one across her face.

“I’m just going to need you to sign these papers so that we can get you going to the right place, alright?” Gavin could tell that she didn’t want to be helping him, and was in fact scared of him. A lot of people were when they found out about his problem. Gavin held out his hands for the papers, and she couldn’t have leaned farther over without falling over. She kept her distance, as if he was going to lash out at any second. He wasn’t uncontrollable, his mind was, and he could handle his body perfectly. ‘Well, not exactly’ He thought to earlier this evening when he had been standing on the ledge of his window. Quickly, he took the papers, and looked them over.

“Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable here?” Nurse Holly asked, wringing her hands with the edge of her shirt. Gavin finished signing in the assigned places, handing them back to her.

“If I could get a roommate, which would be great; it’s lonely in here.” She gave an apprehensive look around the room, before shaking her head.

“I’m afraid not, but maybe when you transfer, they can find someone there that can dea- hang out with you! I have to go now Gavin, but just push that button is you need anything. Your friend outside says Hello by the way.” Nurse Holly pointed to the button beside Gavin’s bed, and then quickly hurried out of the room. Sighing, Gavin laid back on the bed, trying to close his eyes and sleep. He could hear sobbing from next door, as well as a baby crying from the room across from him. Another death, another life, was what he used to say. Sometimes, he wasn’t exactly sure though. It seemed like a strange concept, that a person with so much wisdom to give to the world had to die just so that another child could be born.

“You’re so dumb Gavin, a person has to die when a baby is born so that the world doesn’t become too over populated, though I don’t know how that’s possible with the rate of the births lately.” Gavin chuckled softly, and then quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. He shouldn’t respond; that just makes them stronger.

“Gavin, your pill is here, and then it’s time to go!” Nurse Holly said happily. It was obvious her joy to see him go, which caused him to scowl at her. He knew he should be grateful for her tolerance for him, but could barely manage to say thank you without a rude statement following it; so he stayed silent, taking the pills and a sip of water, shuffling out of bed. He looked around the room, where the family had taken resident. His mind had conjured furniture, and toys for Millie to play with when she had complained about being bored.

“Where are we going Mummy?” Millie asked when her mother took her by the head, following Gavin and Geoff out of the room. It didn’t take long for him to be pushed down into a wheelchair, his arms stuck in place so he wouldn’t ‘lash out’, though he felt extremely calm. He was going to get better, as much as he could. They wouldn’t hurt him, not this time. He would cooperate. He would get back out, healed again. This was just another relapse. They got into the vehicle that would take them to the ward, and Gavin was alone for a while. He knew that they would all be crowding around him as soon as he got to the hospital, the one he belonged in, so he took advantage of the peace.

“Where’s Ray?” He asked suddenly to himself, and quickly moved towards the driver seat, tapping on the glass separating him and the normal people. One of them turned to him, so he asked again. The glass had little spots that were open, so they could obviously hear him. They just shook their head; they thought that Ray was just another hallucination. But Gavin knew that Ray was real, he couldn’t be from his imagination, and Ray never has done anything bad to him, which was the proof. It had to be, Ray was Gavin’s rock, and though Ray himself wasn’t exactly stable, he had his own family problems, it still worked between them. They would talk about their problems, but there was always something they kept from each other.

“Ray’s real! Where is he, he’s my best friend, where is Ray!?” Gavin yelled, banging on the glass. He needed Ray; Ray always had kept him at least slightly sane. Without Ray, he would be alone, and if there was one thing that Gavin was terrified of, was being alone.

“Calm down buddy, we’ll call this Ray guy when we get you to your room, and settled. Now sit down before you hurt yourself.” Gavin calmed, and sat back down on the seat, curling up. He had tried too hard to be normal, and now all that was gone. He had been selfish, and left the hospital before he was ready last time, he wouldn’t do that again.

They arrived at the hospital around noon, and Gavin was issued a room. Apparently all the white rooms were taken, and he was just being put under high surveillance. He had a roommate, but he was told not to speak to him. This guy could get triggered very quickly.

“Who are you?” The other guy snapped as soon as he entered the room, sitting up in bed. Gavin gave him a quick once over, eyes lingering on the deep bags under his bloodshot eyes. The guy had pale skin and deep brown eyes that seemed to make his wild red hair. Freckles littered his taunt face, and the brown outfit they had out on him seemed to make him look tiny. He was shorter than Gavin, but obviously about the a few years older than him. He had anger and fear in his eyes, one trying to cover the other.

“My names Gavin and I’m not supposed to talk to you.” Gavin replied quickly, and moved to the bed next to him. It was silent for a beat, until Gavin could hear Michael getting off of his own bed, and walking over.

“Why not, huh; don’t want the proper English prick getting infected by the freak? Why are you even here dude?” Gavin glanced back, unsure whether or not to answer. Next thing he knew, the guy was up in his face, and glaring at him.

“You’re another shrink, right? A live in one, that going to ‘keep an eye on me’ or something, right; I’m right, aren’t I?!”

“No! I don’t even know who you are!” Gavin replied calmly, seeing Geoff coming up behind the guy, and slipping his hands around his throat. “Stop that Geoff!” Gavin quickly said, almost reaching out to slap his hands as Geoff laughed, and Gavin only then noticed that he had said that out loud, and the guy was giving him a weird look.

“Who the hell is Geoff? Are you an alcoholic?” Gavin shook his head, and hopped onto his bed, curling his knees up against his chest. He was going to be good; he had promised himself he would be good so that he would get out of there quickly. He couldn’t talk to this guy, he would get in trouble.

“Gavin, tell me, or I’ll scream. Whatever you may be, if I scream, and they come running, you’re going to be in shit either way.”

“I’m a schizo, okay? Was that so important, you twat?!” Gavin said quickly, and then hid his face. He could see Geoff’s face contorting into something horrifying, and when Millie smiled at his outburst; her teeth had been jagged and pointed.

“Really...

“Just go away, I’m not allowed to talk to you...” Gavin quickly covered his face again, choosing to just ignore the guy if he continued to talk again, yet he seemed to sense that Gavin didn’t want to talk, and left him alone.

The guy managed to keep quiet for the most part of the day, but soon went back to harassing Gavin after they returned to the room after lunch.

“So what is being a schizo like?” He said when Gavin was sitting on his bed, staring off into space.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not allowed to talk to you?” Gavin replied shortly, turning to look at him. Griffin was standing beside him, telling him that he should be following the rules, and what a horrible person he was, which wasn’t like her. Obviously, she didn’t like being stuck in this hospital either.

“So? The nurses don’t fucking care dude, they only check on me like twice a day. And that’s just to bring me food. So tell me, do you see crazy shit? What kinds of crazy shit? Come on, tell me!” Gavin sighed, turning to look at him.

“I don’t even know your name, and you’re expecting me to tell you how my condition is? How about your condition, what’s that?” This seemed to shut him up for a while, sitting on his bed silently. Gavin took this time to observe the room, and remember his surroundings. He knew that it could possibly be just another illusion, but he would still remember it. He heard a shuddering breath from next to him, before the silence was broken.

“My names Michael... My family brought me in when they found me trying to kill myself... I’ve been here for two years... I’ve had five therapists, and my family hasn’t visited me since...” It was Gavin’s turn to be silent, and he turned to face the newly named Michael.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t re-”

“Oh shut up, I’ve heard enough of ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘it gets betters’... I just wish that someone wouldn’t care, and would still be here for me... Sorry for the rant. Anyway, you owe me a couple answers now.” Michael seemed to brighten up at this, and turned to smile weakly at Gavin.

“Alright... I guess you’re right...” Gavin took a small breath, before starting to talk. “I’m a schizophrenic, and instead of imagining weird things, I have an imaginary family. Their names are Geoff, Griffin, and Millie. I used to imagine they were my real family. There, now you know.” Gavin quickly pulled his knees back up into a defensive position, expecting Michael to freak out; which he did, in a way.

“Holy shit; that’s pretty fucking... well... I don’t even know how to describe it.” The room was silent again, until Geoff walked over and started lecturing Gavin about why he was a horrible person, which seemed to be a regular pastime for him now that he didn’t have much to mess with.

“Do you... seem them right now?” Michael’s voice was quiet, almost as if he didn’t want them to hear. Gavin nodded softly, trying to hide his face, as Geoff’s face was being something hellish. “What do they look like?”

“They look like normal people, most of the time... Griffin always stays the same though, she’s the nicest... She has shoulder length blonde hair, a nose ring, and a lot of cool tattoos... Geoff isn’t very nice sometimes though, but sometimes he is... He has brown hair and a beard.” Michael seemed to just be listening quietly, looking at Gavin from his own bed. “Mille is their daughter; she has blonde hair like Griffin, except she likes to keep it short. She is really nice sometimes.” Gavin stopped then, because he didn’t know how to continue without offending one of them.

“Oh.” There was a tap at the door, and Gavin quickly grabbed the book from the side of his table, and flipped through to a random page to make it look like he had been reading.

“Hello Gavin, Michael!” This nurse seemed much cheerier than Nurse Holly, and was smiling brightly, as if she actually enjoyed her job. She was a bigger woman, with dark skin and kind brown eyes. She had brown hair that was cut short, but looked good on her, the way she styled it. She wore thick rimmed glasses that seemed worn and old. Gavin nodded towards her before ‘returning to his reading’. She walked over to Michael with a pill in her hands, along with a glass of water.

“I’ve got your pills Michael. How have you been doing honey?”

“I’ve been doing fine Martha, thanks.” Michael took the pills from her, and quickly downed it, along with the glass of water. The nurse, Martha, smiled at him and took the glass. Gavin couldn’t help but notice that it was plastic, obvious a safety precaution that bugged something in the back of his mind, but he decided not to focus on it.

“And what about you Gavin, adjusting well?” Gavin quickly nodded as she walked over to him, handing him a pill, and quickly hurrying to the cart outside the room and bringing another glass of water into the room, handing it to him.

“I’ve been doing fine, thanks.” Martha smiled at him, patting his shoulder.

“I’m sure that you’ll adjust well.” Martha said, before leaving the room. Michael turned back to him, shrugging his shoulders.

“She’s nice, I guess.” He said, before climbing back out of bed and hopping onto Gavin’s’, sitting at the end of it.

“You’re staying, right? At least for a little while, ‘because I don’t think that they’re going to be eager to let you go.” Gavin shrugged, putting the book down. He didn’t know when he would be leaving, and at this point, didn’t even know if he should. He was starting to believe Geoff when he told him that he was worthless, and just a menace to society.

“I don’t know.” Gavin answered truthfully. Michael scowled slightly, before standing back up.

“Well, you and I are going for a walk; I’m going to show you around, okay?” Gavin nodded, standing as well. He really didn’t want to be left alone with his mind in such a dark place.

“But what if I get in trouble for being around you?"

"Dude, this isn't middle school, no one is going to care. Now come on, I want you to meet a few people, they have something like you, and so they might be able to help with this shit." They left the room, Gavin still nervous about being caught by one of the nurses. As one watched by, he clenched his hands, but she didn't even seem to notice, walking by without a word. This seemed to calm Gavin, as he sped up so he was walking beside Michael, instead of trailing behind.

“So who are these people? Where are they kept?” Michael scoffed, before entering a larger room, which was littered with board games and different activities. A smaller TV was set up against one wall, a couple people gathered around it. From the little bit of the screen that he could see, he was pretty sure the Avengers was playing on it.

“Come on guys, we have plenty of movies, this is the fourth time this week that we’re watching this movie!” Michael said as he approached the group. Only one responded, turning to face him and grin. It was a woman, with blonde and pale skin. Her hair reached her shoulders, and she had blue eyes. She was a little shorter then Michael. She was a petite woman, with a slim figure.

“We’re watching it again because it’s awesome! Who’s that?” She jerked her chin towards Gavin, who glanced at Michael, wondering if he was going to introduce him. When Michael was silence, he held out his hand, saying,

“I’m Gavin, Michael’s roommate.” The woman paused, staring at his hand, and up over his wrist, before shaking it.

“Barbara. Why are you rooming with Michael?” This cause Gavin to stumble on his words; he was unsure if it was a rhetorical question or not.

“He wanted a roommate; mine had just gone over the fucking Marianas Trench, and bam, roommates.” Barbara nodded, before turning back to the TV. Michael glanced at Gavin, before starting to walk towards another group towards the back, who were quietly talking amongst themselves. They glanced at Michael as he approached them, and a couple people waved in greeting. There was only about five of them sitting on the not so comfortable looking couches, with a plate of cheese and crackers in the middle of them. From an outsider’s point of view, it would look like just a group of friends hanging out together.

“Hey guys, what are we talking about today?” Michael said as he sat beside one of them, who shifted over.

“Just making a few suggestions of places we could go next week, we’ve been allowed to go out for a few hours, under supervision.” Michael nodded, curling up his knees. Gavin stood behind the couch nervously, looking over the group. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he was silent.

“That’s cool. Are we getting pizza this week?” A couple people nodded, glancing at Gavin, who shifted, almost wanting to run back to the room.

“Oh, right! Guys, this is Gavin, he’s rooming with me.” A few people nodded in his direction as a way to say hello, turning back to the conversation. “Sit down Gavin, stay awhile.” Michael said, smirking. Quickly, Gavin sat on the floor beside where Michael was sitting, not wanting to leave his side, as he was nervous around the new people. They all seemed to look him over, trying to figure why he was here, without asking out loud. Thankfully, Griffin was the only one who had followed him, and she was sitting quietly beside Gavin, trying to encourage him to join the conversation.

“Gavin, this is Kara, Monty, Joel, Jack, and Burnie. They’ve been here for a while, so they know pretty much everyone here, and why they’re here.” Michael glanced towards each person as he introduced them, Jack waving at Gavin. Jack, so far, had been friendly towards him. Kara smiled softly at him, before looking over in the corner, her face turning serious. Monty seemed overjoyed to talk to him, leaning towards him on the couch. Joel & Burnie had the same stone expression, nodding at Gavin. Gavin smiled, and waved at them, unsure if to say anything, deciding that a wave was the best course of reaction.

“So, Gavin, why are you here?” Monty asked, grinning. He seemed like the no nonsense sort of person, hardworking, but able to have a little fun once the work was finished. Gavin shifted a little on the spot, looking towards Michael, who smiled at him encouragingly.

“Schizophrenia, I have schizophrenia.” Gavin managed to mumble out, trying to hide his head between his knees. Kara clicked her tongue softly, in a sympathetic tone. Monty was still looking curious, but reserved, in a way.

“What do you see then?” Jack asked, sounding genuinely curious, not assuming or rude in any way. Gavin shrugged, looking towards Griffin, knowing that it looked like he was just looking at the side of a couch. He didn’t know what to say, he had an easy enough time explaining it to Michael, but the group of people in front of him… He was just plain confused, caught between opening up, and asking for their help, or keeping it to him. He heard Michael cough quietly, and glanced up at him.

“Do you want me to explain, Gavin?” He nodded softly, leaning on the couch. Michael quickly explained about his family, trying to sum it up as easily as he could. “They have this kid, Millie, right?” Gavin nodded again, feeling the group’s stares. He didn’t want to be here, he wanted to go back to the room, and he just wanted to escape from here. He felt extremely out of place and uncomfortable with everyone staring at him and just wanted to leave, if Michael hadn’t smiled at him, rooting him to his spot.  Kara stood up, walking over to him, and sitting on the floor in front of him, grinning warmly.

“Hi Gavin; I’m Kara, as Michael told you. I’m a schizophrenic too, but I’ve learned to ignore them. Can you ignore them, or do you talk to them?” Gavin put his chin back onto his knees, playing with a loose thread in the carpet.

“I talk to them a lot… Is that a problem?” Kara shook her head, smiling softly.

“We all deal with our problems differently.” She replied, before grabbing one of the well-worn books off the table, and handing it to him.

“Whenever I’m having problems with them, I usually read this book. My nurse gave it to me when I was first admitted, and it calms me a bit. You can borrow it for a while, to see if it helps.” Gavin took the book, smiling in thanks, before flipping it open. It was a picture book, the pictures black and white, with a colored outline, which was strange. Gavin flipped through it, seeing at the colored outlines slowly began to take over the drawing until it was just a burst of color. It was a strange book, but it seemed to calm Gavin somehow. It seemed to take forever for Michael to be done talking, but they headed back to their room about an hour later, Gavin still looking through the book quietly. Griffin was humming a song next to him, as he heard Millie screaming something from the room. Flinching as he entered the room, Gavin looked up, seeing Geoff standing only a few feet away, smiling coldly.

“Back from your little walk already, Gavin?” He hissed, and Gavin quickly walked around him, putting the book down on the desk, and curling up on the bed. He was tired, and had a headache; he didn’t want to deal with them right now. Griffin hushed Geoff, Millie climbing onto the bed beside Gavin, poking his sides with vigilance.

“Gavin, you’re not allowed to go to sleep, I want to play! Play with me Gavin!” Millie whined, until finally Gavin groaned, and sat up, looking at Millie, who grinned widely. Michael had been quiet, until he finally spoke up, walking over and through Geoff, who seemed taken aback, glaring at Michael, before turning into a wisp, and disappearing.

“Sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I just wanted to help you, but I don’t know if that helped you, or just made you feel weird.” Gavin shrugged, patting the end of his bed. Though he only knew Michael for a little while, he still felt like he was Gavin’s friend.

“Do you usually hang out with those guys? They seem nice…” Michael nodded, sitting on the bed beside Gavin. They were quiet for a bit, Michael running his fingers over his clothed wrists and legs, obviously a nervous habit, Millie standing behind him, teasing him in a hushed tone.

 

       

 “Is there anything else we can do around here?” Gavin asked suddenly, not wanting to be in the room anymore, even though they had just returned. Michael nodded, looking up.

“There’s the movie room, the video games, no violent ones though, uhh… The balconies and a couple other places I like to go.” Gavin nodded, standing up.          

“Could we go to the game room?” Michael nodded as well, standing beside him, and leading him out the door. Millie clung to Michaels back, pulling at his hair, trying to get his attention, but failing.  Griffin followed them again, glancing back at the place where Geoff had disappeared with curiosity. They started walking steadily down the corridors, which were bustling with nurses and other patients. Michael waved to a few, smiling happily. Gavin followed, quiet as he could be, almost as if he was hiding behind Michael, which was incredibly amusing, since Gavin was about a foot taller than him.

“It’s just down this hall, follow me.” Michael said again after a few seconds, and darted down one of the many hallways, doors on both sides. Gavin could hear screaming from somewhere, but Michael didn’t even flinch, so he ignored it. They entered the game room, which was mostly empty, except for a few younger patients sitting around one of the three TV’s, playing something Gavin couldn’t see.

 

 “Hey guys, how is it going?” Michael said, walking over to the shelf that held a couple dozen games. The kids glanced at him, smiling, before turning back to the TV, not saying a word. Seeing the look Gavin gave him, Michael quietly informed him they were incredibly shy, and wouldn’t talk to anyone but their nurses, and their group. Gavin nodded in understanding, before starting to look through one of the games.

“Oh, you guys have Minecraft?” Gavin said, sounding surprised. Michael nodded, still watching the group, who were whispering about the characters on screen, and laughing quietly. Gavin smiled to himself at the expression on Michaels face, one of protectiveness. It was obvious he liked these kids, and wanted to help them, but had no idea how.

“Michael?” Gavin asked after a moment, touching Michaels shoulder gently, to which he flinched back into an attack position, before relaxing after realizing it was just Gavin.

“Jesus dude, don’t sneak up on me like that.” He snapped, frowning at Gavin, who quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. They chose a game, and sat down on the other couch, Michael slipping the disk into the x-box. They began playing for a while, racing against the clock to get to the end of the course. The characters were girls, each themed a different color. Michael shoved Gavin jokily when Gavin started to win, causing the brit to shout,

“Michael!” But it came out sound different, Michael scoffing and mocking him.

“Micool! But Micool!” Michael laughed, his character pulling ahead in the game. They entered one of the boss battles when a nurse walked into the room, tapping them both on the shoulder. Gavin stopped the game, looking over his shoulder.

“It’s time for the game room to close down. You can go down to the movie room to watch a movie before bed, or just go to bed.” The nurse said calmly, Michael frowning.

“What movie is it this time?” He asked, and the nurse smiled at him in understanding, before answering with a movie title Gavin had never heard of before, but cause Michael to groan, rolling his eyes.

“We watched that movie last week! Who chooses these damn things?!” He said disdainfully, leaning back on the couch. The nurse chuckled, shaking her head, before shooing Gavin and Michael out of the room. Michael slumped forward as he walked, mumbling about what bullshit it was to be watching the same movie twice in two weeks. Gavin smiled, before stopping short when Geoff materialized in front of him, rage practically melting off of him and coming at Gavin in waves.

“I don’t know what the fuck you just did, but you’re going to pay for it, you little shit.” Gavin’s eyes widened as he noticed Michael had stopped, and was staring back at him.

“You coming or what Gavin?” He asked, smiling at him, almost as if he was curious of something. Gavin felt his blood running cold as Geoff hissed under his breath.

“Yeah Gavin, are you going to run to your new little friend? Ignore the people who were there for you when you needed us. Just replace us with some kid you don’t even know.” Gavin looked at Michael, shaking his head lightly.

“I think I’m just going to go lay down, I’m not feeling well...” Gavin mumbled, trailing towards the room. Michael furrowed his brow, following Gavin.

“Oh, okay. I’ve seen this movie too many times anyway, I’ll come with you.” Michael said, grinning. Gavin sighed inwardly, before smiling back at Michael.

“Yeah, sure.” They started walking back silently to the room, Geoff marching behind him, scowling and mumbling. Gavin felt his presence lurking over his shoulder as he walked; it felt like the normal prison walk you would see in the movies. He shivered, feeling a cold wind run down his back. It felt almost as if a ghost was breathing down his neck, waiting for something.

“So how was it like out there?” Michael asked suddenly, walking backwards, facing Gavin, who started at the sudden cut of the silence.

“Out where?” Gavin responded slowly, giving himself time to calm his breath, as he knew if he spoke now, his voice would crack and squeak. Michael tilted his head to one of the windows, gesturing to it in a grand sweep of his arms.

“Out there, dude! You know what I mean. Was it harder out there, or do you prefer it? I kind of wish I was allowed out more often than once a week, or on the balconies, but you know how it is and all…” Michael scratched his wrist, a nervous habit, before breaking into another smile, prompting Gavin to tell him about the outside.

“Well... I don’t really know how to describe it. It was the outdoors, you know; windy, sometimes warm?” He didn’t mean to make the last part come out as a question, shaking his head lightly. Michael scowled, looking at the window.

“I mean the people, and your condition. Was it easy to control, where do you like to be more, stuff like that.”

“Well, I did have a couple friends, Ray and Dan. They were nice...” Gavin paused, trying to think of words to describe them. “Dan is from Britain, like me, so I only visited him every few months, but we’ve been friends since we were small, so he knew about my condition. He’s nice, and we used to mess around with one of my dad’s slow motion camera, until I bought my own. ” Gavin stopped again, as they entered the room. Geoff had barely been able to contain his rage at Michael deciding himself to stay with Gavin, as he went to sulk in the chair that was up against the wall of the room. Gavin decided to actually take a good look at the room, even if there wasn’t much to see. There were two chairs, a table in the middle of them, a barred window, and one singular photo that was on the wall, a photo of a little boy standing in a garden, two people standing beside him with wide, proud smiles on their faces. The boy in the photo looked like Michael, red, curly hair and all.

“Ray was my roommate, once I moved here. We used to talk over Skype and stuff, until I moved. He’s pretty cool too.” Gavin finished telling him about Ray as he sat on his bed, still studying the room. There were two bedside tables, and a closet. Overall, it was a pretty blank room.

“What about your parents?” Michael asked, casting a look at the photo. Gavin shrugged, curling up on the bed once again.

“They live in England as well; I don’t talk to them much unless I’m there.” Michael nodded, jumping up onto his own bed.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen my parents for a few years… They would come and visit until about a year after I was admitted, and I haven’t heard from them since. I think they’re disappointed in me, they think it’s their fault I’m like this.” Gavin glanced at Michael, seeing that he had his face buried in his knees, obviously ashamed. Quickly, Gavin hopped out of bed, and hurried to his side, rubbing Michaels back comfortingly.

“They hate me Gavin, they think it’s my fault that everything is going wrong, and they think that it’s my fault that she’s dead. They wish I was dead… Don’t even say that they don’t because they tell me that they do anytime they get close to me, I see their glares, their scowls, and it hurts like fucking hell.” Gavin felt that Michael was shaking underneath his palm, and frowned. These people didn’t sound very nice, and if they truly acted this way towards Michael, they certainly weren’t people he wanted to know.

“My mom, she was the one who found me, and she almost died from panic. She brought me here before my dad even got home… They visited me once a week for two months, then slowly down to once every month, to only phone calls, to nothing… The last thing I heard from them was ‘fuck you’, then they hung up… That was the day I relapsed… Which is why I have to wear this uniform, instead of regular clothing; they don’t want me touching zippers.” Gavin glanced at Michael quickly, looking over the uniform. It was brown, with pockets on either side of the pants, which looked like sweat pants. The shirt didn’t have a zipper either; nothing to hurt himself with. Thinking back, Gavin saw a few people wearing those types of clothing, in assorted colors; Michaels was brown. Michael sniffed quietly, Gavin almost couldn’t hear it. Quickly, he turned his attention back to Michael. It felt awkward, just stand beside him. Gavin tried to lean up against the bed to try to ease the ache that had settled in his hip at the position, but Geoff chose then to start taunting him.

“You really are dumb, aren’t you? You did this to him, and he’s going to hate you know, you know that, right? He’s never going to want to talk to you again, and he’s going to ask you to be transferred. By that time, one of the white rooms will be open again. Then it will be just you and me. Won’t that be fun Gavin? All the time in the world to just talk and talk; it will be just great.” Gavin glared at the man, before turning his attention back to Michael.

“Look Michael, they don’t matter. If they’re such asses like you say, you shouldn’t worry about them. You have lots of friends here; I saw the way you were with everyone here today. It was great, don’t worry Michael. I can promise you that you will be fine without them.” Gavin chuckled inwardly, remembering his first thoughts about Michael, which had taken a complete turnabout. Michael shifted slightly, enough so, Gavin noticed, that if he wanted to, he could slip into the bed beside him. It would be more comfortable, he reasoned in his head, but glanced at Geoff, who was shaking his head, scowling. Gavin could almost see the dark clouds drifting out of his ears comically.

“T-Thanks Gavin…” Michael stuttered out, his voice soft, but still shaky. Gavin smiled slightly to himself, looking over Michaels face as it lifted out of his knees to smile up at Gavin. Again, he shifted to the side, glancing at the space beside him. Gavin was taken aback by the obvious invitation, and Geoff was infuriated, but quieted by Griffin, who had been silent this entire time, as was usual, but had walked over and patted him on the shoulder, pulling him back. They both left, fading into somewhere Gavin couldn’t follow. Millie was sitting on Gavin’s bed, watching them curiously. Gavin shuffled onto the bed, hand still firmly on Michaels back. He couldn’t tell if his touch actually helped him, but it helped keep Gavin himself grounded. Once he was sitting comfortably on the bed. Michael leaned over, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Sorry if this is weird…” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Gavin shook his head, resting it on top of Michaels.

“Nah, its fine…” Gavin trailed off, hearing Michael was still crying quietly. He couldn’t think of anything else to do to comfort him, so he just was there for him, trying to ignore when Griffin and Geoff floated back into the plane of existence-, at least, in Gavin’s mind. They sat like this for a while, until Gavin felt Michael relax in his arms, pulling the blanket in the bed up to his chin. Gavin glanced down towards Michaels face, seeing his eyes were bright red, from the amount of rubbing them he did. His face was calm though, relaxed. Gavin smiled at him slightly, rubbing his shoulder again.

“I’m sorry about that…” Michael mumbled into the blanket, looking down in shame. “I really am sorry. I’ll understand if you want a different roommate…” He sniffled again, shifting away from Gavin, giving him space to leave if he wished. But Gavin stayed put, pulling Michael back into a hug.

“Why would I want a different roommate? Just because you had a breakdown, doesn’t mean I’m going to want to replace you. If you don’t mind, I consider you my friend now. And friends don’t leave friends, right?” Michael nodded slightly, smiling at Gavin, before letting out a small breath of air that he had obviously been holding in.

“Thanks… Now this is defiantly going to sound weird, but I’m pretty happy that you’re not leaving… I don’t know if I could stand being alone with myself right now…” Gavin laughed quietly at the irony of the phrase, glancing at the room filled with people Michael couldn’t even see. Michael relaxed back against Gavin’s side, pulling the blanket with him. Gavin rested his head back down, looking at Geoff, who was glaring at him, but resigned to just standing at the other side of the room, and shaking his head. Griffin looked happy, smiling and sitting beside Millie, playing a game with her. It seemed from here they were playing Snakes and Ladders, but Gavin wasn’t sure. They stayed like this until Michael was almost asleep, pushing Gavin into a laying position. He seemed to want to ask him something, but hesitating nervously. Gavin tilted his head, prompting him to go on.

“I… I was wondering if maybe… you could just… stay here.” His voice started out in scarcely a whisper, and lowered even farther as he went on, trying to hide beneath the blanket. Gavin smiled at him, before nodding and lying down properly, Michael lying beside him. When the blanket was pulled away from Michaels face, Gavin saw that it was a deep red. He was flustered that Gavin had agreed; all grins and smiles. He mumbled his thanks, draping the blanket up onto Gavin as well, before cuddling into his chest. It was quiet again, the only sounds a mix of Michael and Gavin’s breathing; it was peaceful.

When Gavin woke up this morning, the morning sun was shining through the window, and Michael was still curled up in his arms, head pressed into his chest. Gavin rubbed his eyes wearily, looking around. He had expected to be woken up during the night by one of the nurses, ordering him back to his own respective bed, but had slept soundly without interruptions. He noticed something different sitting on Michael’s bedside table, along with two water bottles, with two marked pills sitting beside each of them, and a note written in small, slanted print. Gavin reached over slowly, careful not to wake Michael, picking it up and bringing it close to his face, squinting at it.

“Good morning! I saw that you two were comfortable, and didn’t want to wake you guys! Hope you slept well, please take your pills, and hope you both have a good day. I’ve told the other nurses not to bother you Gavin, I know how you are, and you’d be surprised how many people know you here still. –Martha” He frowned at the last statement, putting the paper down and grabbing the pill on the side table that was next to the labeled bottle of water with his name. Gently, he sipped the water after putting the pill in his mouth, swallowing it, and then putting it on the bedside table again. He felt Michael shift beside him, waking up with a small yawn. His eyes opened slowly, his gaze hazy.

“God damn it that’s fucking bright.” He hissed as the sunlight flashed across his vision, blinding him momentarily. Gavin laughed, before handing him his own bottle of water and pill. Michael scowled, covering his eyes with his hands before taking the pill and downing half the bottle in one go. Gavin climbed out of the bed, stretching his limbs, and pulling the curtains down over the window. The room was plunged into darkness again as he walked across the room, and turned on the lamp.

“Fucking sunlight man” Michael mumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes. He put the water bottle aside, and climbed out of bed, straightening his clothes. Gavin walked over to his suitcase that had been tucked under his bed for safekeeping, pulling out a pair of jeans and t-shirt, one of his favorites. It was red, with the words ‘Touch my awesome button’ and an arrow leading down to his zipper. Gavin grabbed a hoodie, since the room was quite cold, as it was snowing outside. The window was frosted over when he glanced at Michael, who was walking over to the side of his bed, where he was covered from the waist down, making a safe area to change. They both changed quickly, before leaving the room and walking down to the cafeteria for breakfast.

“Hey Michael, Gavin!” Barbara said as she walked over to them from her table. Her breakfast was already half gone on her tray. Michael smiled at her, nodding his head groggily, still half asleep. Thankfully, the line wasn’t very long, and he had a cup of coffee in his hands before Gavin could even respond to Barbara. They got a plate of food each, walking over to Barbara’s table, and sitting down. Michael sipped his coffee slowly, looking out the window next to the table as Gavin and Barbara talked quietly about different movies and TV shows they have seen. It was a quiet morning, as they decided to hang out with Barbara, and watch a movie with her, after being promised it wouldn’t be one that Michael had seen, but Gavin was pretty open to anything either of them wanted to watch. They decided on watching the Matrix after a bit of argument between the two of them, and then settled down on the couch. A few other people came and went, watching bits and pieces of the movie, but the only one who came and stayed for the entire movie with them was Lindsay, who Michael introduced to Gavin. She didn’t speak until the movie was finished, then turned to Gavin, and held out her hand for him to shake.

“As Michael said, hi, my name is Lindsay, nice to meet you.” Gavin nodded, shaking her hand and smiling back at him.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Gavin.” He responded, as Michael was taking the DVD out of the player, and putting it back in the case. They talked for a while, and Gavin learned that Lindsay was here because she was struggling with Kleptomania, to such a stage she hurt one of her family members in an attempt to get away with the object she was stealing. Gavin knew that she probably felt horrible about it; by the way she hung her head in shame, looking at the ground. They were all quiet for a while, just sitting comfortably together, when Jack walked into the room. He was wearing a jacket and hat, which Gavin thought was strange, until he remembered that yesterday while Michael had been talking to them, he had asked about getting pizza.

“Hey, you guys coming or not?” Jack asked as he reached them, holding out a couple bundles of coats. Michael glanced up at him, before grinning and grabbing his coat, standing up.

“Hey, is it okay if Gavin comes?” He asked as the rest of them started to get ready as well. Gavin raised his eyebrows, surprised. He would have been fine staying here by himself, he probably could have found someone to talk to, and if anything… He spared a glance across the room, where Griffin had been lurking since they had arrived, and silent as always.

“Yeah sure, why wouldn’t he be allowed to com- Wait, have you asked one of the nurses?” Michael stopped for a moment, glancing back at Gavin, before shrugging the jacket fully on, and gesturing for Gavin to follow him. They walked towards the front of the hospital, to the front desk. There was a male nurse behind the desk today, going through the papers. He had black styled hair, and was extremely pale, which struck Gavin as weird, but since it was winter, it was more likely than being tan. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans with rips in them, and a heavy sweater. He looked to only be in high school, but Gavin knew that he was probably much older, with the amount of training he would have had to gone through to get this way.

“Hey Josh!” Michael called when he approached the desk, grinning. The man looked up from the files he was looking over, and smiled back at Michael, putting the files down.

“Hey, what’s up Michael? Keeping yourself out of trouble?” Josh asked, holding up his hand, which Michael high-fived, and nodded.

“Yeah, not much trouble you can get up to around here. Anyway, I was wondering if you could give my friend Gavin here the go ahead to come with us for pizza. He’s fairly new here, so this is his first time out.” Josh paused for a moment, glancing at Gavin with weary eyes, giving him a one-over. Gavin shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, until he saw Josh grab one of the files on his desk, and flip it open, looking through it. The file was quite thick, and seemed like it hadn’t seen the light of day much, with a thick coating of dust on the outside of it. Josh found what he was looking for, and sat down on the best, grabbing a pen from one of the cups sitting nearby.

“You have schizophrenia, right? It’s going to take a lot of paperwork to get you cleared…” Michael nodded for Gavin, looking over the desk at the paperwork in Gavin’s folder.

“Please Josh? I promise that I will personally look after him, and there’s going to be nurses there, and we’re just going down the block…” Michael pleaded, his voice sounding small. Josh glanced up at him, and sighed deeply, before reaching out and ruffling Michaels’ hair, then sitting down and beginning to write on a slip of paper.

“Fine, just don’t let him get away from you, and if he goes into shock or anything, you bring him right back here, got it?” Josh mumbled, as Michael grinned and nodded quickly, shoving a beanie onto his head.

“Got it, thanks Josh!” He exclaimed, before turned to Jack and the others, who were talking among themselves as they waited.  Jack tilted an eyebrow, before Michael nodded, and soon Gavin was being pushed out the door, quickly zipping up his hoodie as they stepped into the cold, brisk wind. It only took a few minutes of walking until they arrived at a large pizza shop, with tables lining the walls. There was already a family sitting inside, who were watching as the small group shuffled indoors, stamping shoes against the carpet. Michael got a few stranger looks, along with the others wearing the uniforms, but they seemed used to it as one of the nurses walked towards the counter.  The rest of the group separated to different tables, talking in hushed tones. Michael was following Jack with a huge smile on his face, it was obvious he enjoyed these outings. They slid into a booth with Barbara, Jack, and Lindsay, three on each side, if Gavin was counting Geoff, who had wiggled in beside him. Gavin looked down at his lap, folding and unfolding his hands nervously, while scowling at them. He was extremely upset that Geoff had managed to follow him, though he shouldn’t be surprised, Geoff was always, even where Millie or Griffin couldn’t follow. When he returned he would probably get a disapproving look from Griffin and a pout from Millie.

“So Jack, how was your visit with your girlfriend?” Lindsay asked, sparking a conversation. Jack’s eyes seemed to light up as he began talking about this girl, Caite. He talked about her until their pizza arrived, the nurse who set it in front of her glancing at Gavin with her eyebrows raised, but when Michael glared at her, didn’t say a word in comment. Barbara seemed to notice something, because she was grinning quietly to herself, watching Gavin and Michael like a hawk as she took a large bite out of her pizza. When Lindsay got the same smile on her face as Barbara leaned over and whispered something, Gavin felt like he was under inspection, the way both girls were staring at him. Before long, they had both turned to each other, and nodded once, before continuing to eat their pizza without a word. Gavin had been so focused on them; he didn’t notice that his name had been mentioned in conversation between Jack and Michael.

“Gavin, we were talking to you! “ Michael said suddenly, shoving him to the side gently with his shoulder. Gavin let his gaze flick up to Jack, waiting for him to repeat the question.

“We were wondering if you were going to have anyone visit you, is that Dan guy going to come around sometime, or Ray?” He smirked slightly at this, he knew that Ray had probably been working his way through hell and back to try and visit Gavin, he was surprised that he hadn’t already had a visit.

“Ray’s probably trying to get in, and Dan might fly down in a few months if I stay that long. My parents are probably a bit busy, so they’ll just ask Dan to” Gavin paused, putting on an important air “Send their best wishes” He immediately let the persona drop, grinning. Michael laughed, shaking his head slightly while Jack smirked to himself. Gavin looked around the restaurant while the two went back to talking, from an outside the place might just look like it was a busy afternoon, as long as they didn’t pause to look at their outfits. It felt like a family, Gavin was shocked to find. Or maybe, rather like a team who had just won a game, and decided to get pizza to celebrate. He chuckled quietly to himself at the image of Michael in a baseball suit, before shaking his head and eating a slice of pizza. The pizza was finished quickly, as he talked to Barbara and Lindsay about the different filming things he has done in the past, full of pride when he boosted about the Sherlock movie he had worked on. It was about an hour and a half before the nurses were starting to tell everyone it was time to go. Gavin was pleased that nothing had managed to set him off, hoping that would result in being invited on another outing.

“Alright, come on guys we better get going.” Jack said, pulling himself out of the seat, Barbara and Lindsay following. Michael slipped out of the seat, and Gavin followed quickly, almost stepping through Geoff, who was a little slow for him. The man scowled at him, before falling in step behind him, whispering taunts. Gavin felt his head throb, but hoped that he would be at the hospital before anything could happen. He could slip away from the group, and go to his room, and curl up, and just ignore everything for a while. He rubbed his forehead weakly, before starting to walk beside Michael, who was talking with Lindsay. Gavin glanced back at Geoff, who was scowling. He sighed quietly to himself, before shaking it off and trying to listen to Jack, who was trying to talk to him about something. They were walking down the street towards the hospital, stumbling on the snowy drifts. His boots got caught on the edge of a sidewalk, and he almost fell into one of the piles. A thought shot through his mind that almost made him laugh, ‘if I died here, no one would ever find my body.’ He was caught though, before he could fall fully. He glanced up towards whoever had caught him, and saw that it was Michael, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him back up to his feet, and clapping him on the back.

 

 

 “Be careful Gavin, alright? Don’t want to lose you out here.” Gavin nodded, wiping off the front of his hoodie, though nothing had gotten onto it, and pulled it closer to his body. He was starting to shiver from the cold, and when they finally arrived back at the hospital he was thankful for its forgiving warmth. He was rubbing his shoulders roughly when he saw them, Millie and Griffin standing at the other end of the hallway, glaring at him. It seemed like a moment in a horror movie, where the killer was staring down their victim. Gavin glanced away, trying to ignore them, but found Geoff following his line of vision, making him unable to ignore them any longer.

“Have fun, Gavin?” Griffin hissed, her voice a surprise to Gavin, because she was barely ever angry. He shivered again, not from being cold, but from terror. He didn’t like this; he hated it when his family was angry at them, even if it was just his mind. He knew that he had to get away from everyone, nurses included. He wanted to prove he didn’t have relapses anymore, that he could do this; that he was safe out there. He started to move in the direction that he thought the room was in, but was shoved back by Geoff roughly, causing him to stumble into a wall, which probably looked quite strange to any outsiders. He heard something to his left that sounded like whispering, and felt his face grow hot in embarrassment. He shuffled away again, towards somewhere less populated, but yet again was shoved back by Geoff, who was spitting out insults at the dozen. Suddenly, he felt arms pulling him away somewhere, and he just let them. He didn’t want to fight anymore. If they locked him up, so be it. It was his eventual fate anyway, what was the point of fighting it? He felt his body go limp as he gave up, and the person that was leading him again pulled him close to their side, which was odd. He heard a door opening over Geoff’s yelling, and Millie, who was screaming about something Gavin didn’t understand. Griffin had fixed him with a cold stair that swam in his vision, blocking out anything else.

 

 

 “I’m sorry…” He mumbled softly, rubbing his eyes. Griffin shook her head again, not saying a word. He was laid down on a bed, and felt something running through his hair, attempting to calm him, which was new. He heard soothing murmurings coming from beside him, as whatever he was laying on dipped as someone else got onto it. He was confused, but Geoff was poking him, so he quickly shot a glare at him, turning his face away. Gavin squeezed his eyes shut, but that only made it seem worse, their taunting voices louder. It took hours before they finally started to fade from his mind, leaving him a shivering, worthless lump. He was exhausted, for an unknown reason, but these seemed to happen often after those sorts of things. He could feel the person who had brought him back to the room still lying beside him, brushing their hands through his hair. He shifted so that he could see who it was, rubbing his eyes. Michael was laying there, eyes drooping with sleep. Gavin smiled softly, before sitting up.

“Thanks Michael, for getting me out of there. It really does mean a lot to me.” Michael seemed to snap out of some kind of trance, grinning up at him.

“It’s no problem Gav; you would have done it for me if I had a relapse, right?” He seemed nervous when he asked this, until Gavin nodded quickly. Michael smiled, before starting to shuffle away from Gavin, and sliding off the bed. He let him go, knowing that he would stay if he wanted to, or at the very least, hoping he would have. The room was quiet again, besides the shuffling of Michael’s blankets and the creaking of the bed as he got into it. Gavin’s mind seemed to have decided he had had enough of his hallucinations today, as they were nowhere to be found. He heard Michael shuffling more, before he heard him speak.

“What did you see Gavin…? You kept mumbling something, but I couldn’t figure out what you were saying. If you don’t mind telling me, I’m wondering what you saw.” He seemed nervous, his voice clipping. Gavin was silent, which he knew probably only made him even more so.

“I saw a lot of different things, at the beginning it was just Geoff making faces and looking dumb, but then they started to twist my memories. It was probably like a theatre show to them.” Gavin paused again, the throbbing in his skull resuming as he explained this to Michael. “Is there any pills for headaches or something around here?” He asked suddenly, holding his head.

“Well, yeah. You would have to ask though; other patients aren’t allowed to get medication for others. Safety precaution, obviously; don’t want people stockpiling them…” He trailed off, before sliding out of bed. “But, they never said they couldn’t show them to the phone. Though we might get in trouble for being out of bed, but whatever, what’s life without a little trouble, right?” He grinned mischievously, before Gavin followed him out of the room. They were almost immediately found by a nurse, who sighed deeply, and waited for an explanation.

“Michael was just showing me to where I can get pills for my headache.” The nurse nodded, before saying that she would show Gavin, and Michael should go back to his room. Michael protested, before finally giving in and stomping off, making sure to make a lot of noise with the stomping of his feet, and groaning about how unfair it was. The nurse rolled her eyes, before starting to walk in the same direction Michael had been going.

“So what caused the headache? Everyone is supposed to be sleeping right now.” Gavin quickly looked through his mind for an excuse, before blurting out,

“I woke up because I heard something in the room next to me, and I had this headache.” It wasn’t a bad excuse, he thought after a moment, because the nurse believed him, promising to check on the room next to them after dropping him off in med care. They reached med care after another minute, and the nurse left Gavin after he promised he could remember the way back, which he realized after she was gone, he couldn’t. He was told to take the pills in front of the attendant, and to open his mouth so he could check to make sure he had eaten it. After this, he was told to lay on one of the bed, with a wet cloth on his head until the headache lessened, to make sure that it was just a headache. After setting Gavin up with the cloth, the attendant walked back over to the desk, where he had been eating something.

It took about a half hour before he came back over, and asked Gavin about his head, to which he said he was feeling better, which he was. The attendant then sent him back to his room, with the cold cloth still on his head. He was ordered to take some rest, and not stay up reading or sneaking out. Gavin agreed, and left the room. He paused in the hallway, looking around curiously, trying to remember which direction he came from. It was odd, for the place to be dark and empty, except for hearing the seldom scuffle of feet shuffling across the floor from inside one of the rooms. Gavin continued forward, hoping this was the right direction. After a couple minutes of wondering, he found the correct hallway, and quickly returned to his room. He found Michael already asleep in his own bed, and decided not to wake him, and quietly climbed into his own bed, and attempted to sleep, but only succeeding in drifting into a half sleep, where he could still feel the movements of his body keeping him awake, but chose to just let his body do as it wanted. If it would still, and let him sleep, so be it.

Gavin felt lonely. It had been a few days since the incident, and even after being promised by Josh that Ray had been trying to visit him, they just weren’t allowing him. Sure, Michael was a good friend, and was there for him, but Gavin needed contact with the outside, to know if his parents had been told, to know if his job had fired him yet. He felt curious, and disconnected, and just plain lonely over all.

“Hey Gav, you feeling okay; you’ve been acting kind of out of it lately, and I keep on winning the games.” Michael paused, and Gavin waited for the usual snarky comment that would make him laugh, and whine his name, but it didn’t follow.

“I’ve been fine Michael, just lonely, you know? I know that you’re here, and all the other guys, but I miss my friends from out there, and even after Josh said he’s been trying to visit, I feel like… Oh, I’m just being a knob, I’ll be fine.” Michael scoffed at his choice of words, before turning on the couch to face him, raising an eyebrow.

“You sure you’re fine dude? This is going to sound really weird, but you’re my friend, and I don’t stand by when my friends are upset.” Gavin smiled slightly, before leaning on the side of the couch, now facing Michael.

“I miss my friends, and I miss outside, but I’m going to be fine Michael. Ray will eventually come visit me, and Dan will too. I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m going to be here most of my life, might as well get used to it, right? I mean, Ray’s not going to visit me forever, and Dan will eventually move back home, then I’ll be, in basic terms, completely unattached to the outside. I have friends in here though, so I suppose it won’t be too bad.” Michael smiled at this last bit, clapping him on the shoulder affectionately.

“Well, you never know bud, you might get out, and we can’t exactly tell the future, now can we?” He said, before turning back to the game. He didn’t unpause it though, which confused Gavin until he spoke.

“I remember when my best friend used to visit. We would play games in here, and talk about life. One day, he didn’t come. Then it continued like that, until I eventually gave up. I still don’t know if he’s alive or dead. He could have gotten hit by a car on the way over here, or… I don’t even know.” Michael shrugged, turning to Gavin.

“I think everyone has had someone give up on them in here. That’s why we’re all really close friends, because we know how it feels to be left alone. It’s nice, you know; to have someone there, to talk to if you’re feeling shitty?” Gavin nodded, understanding what he meant. He was about to comment when a nurse walked into the room, a smile plastered across her face.

“Gavin?” She asked, making sure that she had the right person. When he nodded, her grin spread wider. “You have a couple visitors.” Michael glanced at Gavin, grinning and pushing his shoulder gently.

“See dude? Your friends are here already.” Gavin grinned, and got up. He paused for a moment, and then gestured for Michael to come with him. Michael raised his eyebrows, but didn’t question him, standing up and following him out of the gaming room. They had been spending a lot of time in there lately, and Gavin hadn’t gone out on another walk yet. He wasn’t sure what set him off last time, so he decided not to bother with it yet.  Maybe one day he would experiment with different sounds, so that he would know, but right now he wanted to give his mind some rest from the… Gavin didn’t even know what to describe it, so he had just been calling it ‘the thing’ in his mind. He walked towards the front doors, Michael following and joking about how coincidental that Ray happened to show up now, when he was complaining about being lonely. They got to the front doors, where Ray was waiting, with someone beside him. At first glance, Gavin refused to admit who it was to himself. Finally, when Dan waved at him, he broke into a smile. He hadn’t expected Dan here for at least another couple weeks, maybe even months. Michael was silent beside him when he approached them. Gavin grabbed Dan, and pulled him into a hug as Ray grinned.

“Sorry it took so long for me to visit; I had to get this guy out here.” Gavin laughed, before turning away from Dan and hugging Ray, who patted his back. They talked a little bit about how Gavin’s parents wanted to come, but couldn’t get away from work, and how Dan’s deployment was going. He had gotten leave because he had said one of his family members was sick.

“Which technically, you are.” Dan said, grinning. Gavin felt almost proud that Dan considered him part of his family. “Anyway, that doesn’t really matter right now, how’s like going for you in here?” Gavin smiled slightly, before shrugging.

“It’s going okay; I got a pretty crap roommate though.” He smirked when he heard Michael grunt distastefully. “Well, I guess he isn’t too bad.” Michael smirked, shaking his head slightly.

“Hi, I’m Michael” He quickly introduced himself, holding out his hand for them to shake. Ray nodded towards him, shaking his hand, as Dan did the same. They talked about Rays’ new job, and how he was keeping the apartment with a little help from Dan, who was staying with him while he was on leave. They offered to take Gavin out for pizza, but he quickly denied, saying that he thought it was best he stay here, where he was safe.

“Well, you could always order it, and eat it in the cafeteria, they let families bring lunches and stuff, so I don’t see why ordering out would be a problem.” Michael suggested, gesturing in the direction of the cafeteria. Ray paused for a moment, before laughing.

“Well don’t I look stupid?” He said, causing both Gavin and Dan to laugh. They used one of the hospital phones to order the pizza, Ray suggesting that he and Dan go to pick it up, as that would be quicker, and cheaper. Gavin reluctantly agreed, not wanting to see his friends go yet, but knowing that what Ray was saying was perfectly reasonable, and actually pretty smart, if he was trying to save cash. Dan promised he would be back soon, as he knew Gavin’s worry. Once his parents had gone out to get some Chinese food, and didn’t come back because they got called into work, and he had been left waiting for at least two weeks before he found out what happened to them. Ever since, Gavin had been afraid that one of his friends or family members would forget him again, even after being told they were sorry, and that it would never happen again.

“So that’s Ray and Dan, huh?” Michael said, breaking the silence that Gavin hadn’t even noticed was there, as he was so lost in his thoughts. He nodded slightly, smiling. He could tell something was happening between the two, he always knew how Dan was feeling about something by one look on his face, and it was obvious in Ray’s bouncy and happy behavior that he had taken a liking to Dan, sometimes fondly calling him ‘Dan the man’.

“Yeah, they’re… well, Ray and Dan. I don’t even know how to describe them other than that. They’re just Ray and Dan, you know?” Michael nodded, glancing towards the door when it opened. A woman walked in that he seemed to recognize, as he smiled at her.

“Jacks down in the gaming room waiting for you Caiti, how’s life been going for you?” The women smiled at Michael, before answering his question.

“Life’s been doing fine Michael, how about you?” She walked over, sitting on the chair next to Michael. They talked for a little while before Michael introduced her to Gavin, who nodded, and shook her hand politely. Ray and Dan walked into the hospital a few minutes after Caiti left, Dan holding the pizza box above Ray’s head, who was trying to grab at it to take a slice. Gavin grinned, standing up and walking over to them.

“Have fun out there?” He asked, noticing the snow that was all down the front of both Dan and Ray’s jackets. They both smirked, before Ray looked around for a sign pointed to the cafeteria. Gavin pointed in the right direction, and started leading them towards it.

“Cold out there, yeah?” Gavin said, glancing at Dan, who was still grinning, his face still red from the freezing wind. He nodded, placing the hot pizza box against his face for a moment, before laughing and pushing it away again. They reached the cafeteria, and sit near one of the windows, Ray and Dan sitting next to each other, Gavin and Michael across from them. They ate in silence for a while, until Ray spoke up.

“So how are you feeling in here Gavin…? Have… they been bothering you at all?” He seemed hesitant to asked, which made Gavin shake his head lightly. He was used to people being edgy around him, and knew that Ray would be that way for a while, at least until he was used to it.

“There’s only been one real big one, I survived.” Michael scoffed, almost choking on a pizza slice.

“Barely, if I hadn't been there, you would be strapped in a white room right now! I had to physically drag you to our room, and hold you down on the bed just to keep you still! You would have ended up hurting someone if it wasn’t for me.” He said, making Gavin flush, though he wasn’t exactly sure why. In the back of his mind, a small nagging voice was saying something, but Gavin refused to notice it. That’s the voice that suggested most of his bad ideas, and he really didn’t need that right now.

“You took care of Gavin during that, right?” Dan asked, glancing at his friend before Michael nodded quickly.

“Of course, I couldn’t just leave him there. That would have been horrible of me.” He said, before taking a rather large bite of pizza. The conversation paused for a moment, Ray glancing between Dan and Michael, who seemed to be having a small staring contest. There was a look in Dan’s eyes that showed that he didn’t trust Michael, and Michael looked like he wanted to punch Dan for thinking such a thing. On a whim, Gavin shifted slightly, and his hand lay over top of Michaels in what he hoped was a calming gesture. Michael broke his gaze from Dan, looking over at him, his mouth opening and closing, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. The tension in the room was heightened for a good two seconds before Ray started asking about what there was to do for fun, and Michael started talking about the gaming room, and soon they got onto the topic of video games, while Dan, after a moment, starting telling Gavin about how he was adjusting to civilian life once more. All through this, Michael didn’t move Gavin’s hand away, and after a few minutes of steady talking, Gavin felt his hand being gripped more tightly, glancing down at them, before a smile spread across his face without his permission. The day went well, until Ray and Dan finally got shooed out of the hospital by a nurse, and Michael and Gavin both went down to the main living room area, where there was another movie playing. As soon it started up, Gavin knew which movie it was, and grinned. They were quiet throughout the movie, and as soon as it ended, were taken back to their room. Michael seemed to want to talk about something, but Gavin tried to keep a conversation going between him and Barbara, so he wouldn’t mention what had happened at lunch while she was there. Once they got back to their room though, there was no one else there to distract him.

“Gavin, about what happened at lunch...” Gavin cut him off quickly, feeling ashamed.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I um... I wanted to comfort you, and, well, yeah.” He said, which made Michael frown slightly, sitting on his own bed.

“Gavin, this is going to be weird, but are you gay?” Gavin almost choked on thin air at this, his face turning red once more, which seemed to be happening more often than not lately. The room was deathly silent for a bit, until Gavin eventually nodded his head weakly.

“Oh, okay, that’s fine.” Michael said, lying back on his bed. Gavin was surprised by his reaction, before he saw a grin on Michael’s face, which meant he was either interested, or had someone to set him up with; which, after thinking about it, didn’t seem too bad.

“Why do you ask?” Gavin replied, glancing over at Michael as he pulled a hoodie on over his head.

“Just wanted to know, is that such a bad thing?” He answered, reaching over to his bedside table and plucking a book from it. The room was silent again for a while, minus the sounds of pages turning. Gavin lay in his bed, his hoodie baggy around him. He was deep in thought about something when he finally spoke up.

“Michael?”  

“Yeah?”

“Do you think monkeys know what we’re saying?”

“Shut the fuck up Gavin, and go to sleep.”

The next morning, Gavin woke up, feeling groggy and still tired. A different nurse brought them their pills today, and Geoff was back, sitting beside Gavin on his bed, though he flickered when Gavin took the pill.

“Good morning Michael.” Gavin said when he finished drinking the water. Michael nodded towards him, mumbling something about fucking mornings, and sipping his own water. He groaned when the nurse opened the window, pulling his blanket back over his eyes as the sun reflected off the snow into the room. He rubbed his eyes with the blanket, yawning.  Gavin smiled slightly, before hopping off his own bed, his hood almost wrapped around his neck until he fixed it, before shoving Michael slightly.

“Fuck off dude, I’m so tired.” He whined, trying to punch at Gavin, who avoided his fist, and continued to shove him until he dropped off the side of the bed, sitting up with his eyes wide, the blanket half on, half off his body.

“Damn it Gavin.” He hissed, before standing up, yawning again. Gavin laughed, before taking another drink from his water bottle.

“Come on, we have to go get breakfast.” Gavin replied nonchalantly, before starting to walk out of the room, jumping when Geoff appeared in front of him, hissing, before continuing to walk through him. He ignored Geoff, and even Griffin when they appeared, but when Millie started walking next to him, he squeezed his eyes shut, and quickly turned on his heel, and started walking back to the room. Millie still followed him, saying how she was hungry, and Gavin should take her to the cafeteria to eat. Gavin quickly shook his head a subtly as he could, before almost running into Michael, who was headed to the cafeteria after him.

“Whoa, hey there, what are you doing coming back?” He asked when Gavin stumbled, catching him by his arm and pulling him up. Gavin quickly flinched away when Michaels face distorted, before shaking his head, and looking back, where his regular face had returned. Michael seemed to register he was having a problem, and pulled him back into the room. Gavin clenched his eyes closed, rubbing his head, until finally Millie pulled away. Michael was standing beside him, looking up at him with worried eyes, until Gavin placed a hand on top of his head, nodding. Michael quickly knocked his hand off, grinning.

“You have to be more careful dude, stay with me, okay?” Michael scolded him, which made Gavin laugh. Michael shoved him gently with his shoulder, before opening the door again. When Gavin glanced at the clock across the hall, he saw that a half hour had escaped him. He shook his head slightly at himself, before starting to walk down the hall once more, Michael now beside him. He was being kept under Michaels careful watch throughout the entirety of breakfast, until Barbara ran up to them after, and started talking about a new person.

“His name is Ryan, and I think he’s a schizo like you Gavin! He keeps on mumbling about this guy named Edgar, I think it might be his brother or boyfriend or something.” She said, grinning with excitement. Michael seemed intrigued by him, and listened carefully, chewing on a piece of bread.

“They’re keeping him in his room right now, but I think they’re going to let him walk around soon.” She finished, her face flushed as she had run from halfway across the building to here to tell them. Michael paused, glancing at Gavin.

“This guy seems like he’s worse then you, at least you weren’t mumbling about Geoff and stuff when they brought you in. But then again, he could be having an attack…” Michael trailed off, raising his eyebrows. Gavin shrugged in response to his unspoken question, ‘do other people have attacks like you?’. Barbara glanced between them, before going off about the new movie they had brought into the main room this morning, and questioning why they weren’t at regular breakfast time, but when both Michael and Gavin didn’t answer just moved along to another question until finally she grew tired of talking and sat down in front of them quietly, waiting for them to finish breakfast. After they both finished, Gavin and Michael both put their dishes on the counter, before following Barbara to where she had seen the new guy being led. They could hear mumblings from inside the room, if they leaned close to the door. Gavin quickly moved away though, respecting his privacy. He knew that if someone had listened in on him, he wouldn’t like it.

“Do you guys really think we should be here listening in?” Gavin asked after a minute, looking down the hallway nervously. He could have sworn he heard footsteps from down the hall.

“Dude, this is literally the only form of entertainment with all the TV occupied, and the balconies are all crowded. No one’s going to find out, and it’s just a bit of fun, we’re not going to tell anyone.” Barbara said, before turning back to the door, though Michael paused, before standing up with a small, but definite sigh.

“Fine Gavin, if this makes you uncomfortable, we’ll go. See you around Barbara.” Barbara waved, before turning away, to which Gavin turned to Michael with a confused expression.

“You don’t have to go; I’ll find something else to do by myself, its fine Michael.” To which he received a small slap to the head and a ‘shut up Gavin’. They started walking around the hospital, just walking in silence, before finally Gavin suggested they just go back to the room and hang out there. Michael nodded, turning on his heel and starting to walk back towards the door. Gavin opened it, and let Michael in first, before going in himself. They both quietly sat together on Gavin’s bed for a while, until finally Michael glanced over at him and sighed.

“I’m bored Gav, do you want to go to the games room or something?” Gavin shrugged, glancing over at him.

“I don’t know, I’m not really in the mood for playing games, you know?” Michael nodded again, looking down at his feet. They were quiet again, until Gavin felt his hand being covered by Michaels, which caused him to glance at him, but didn’t say anything. After a moment, he curled his hand around Michaels, squeezing it gently. He glanced over once more, to see Michael smiling, before leaning over and almost cuddling into his side. Gavin was pleased by this, and used his other hand to stroke the top of Michaels head softly, running his fingers through his curly hair. It seemed like only seconds before a nurse walked in with blankets and sheets in her hands, and shooed them out of the room.

“So uh… do you want to go to the main room for a bit?” Michael asked after a moment of them standing in the hallway. He rubbed his wrists nervously, before Gavin reached out and took his hand again, nodding.

“Yeah, that would be good Michael.” He replied, starting to pull him towards the main room. Michael grinned, quickly catching up to him. They walked together for a while, until the approached the main room, and found it relatively empty except for a somewhat large group of people sitting in front of the TV, but their focus wasn’t on the movie that was playing on it, but the man that was sitting at the usually full table, sipping a hot chocolate by himself. Gavin noticed Barbara was waving them over, as she was part of the group sitting on the couch.

“Who’s that?” Gavin asked calmly when he approached. Barbara seemed to glow with excitement, grinning up at Michael and Gavin, glancing back over at the stranger.

“That, my dear Gavin, is Ryan. When he came out of his room, he was muttering about this Edgar guy again. I really want to know who the hell he is, but I can’t just rush in there.” Barbara was interrupted by Michael snorting, before she continued. “He’s been sitting there and drinking the hot chocolate the nurse brought him the entire time, and hasn’t even said anything.”

“So how do we know that he wants to be bothered? He could be like Sira, and wants to be left alone until she gets out.” Michael shared a look with Barbara that told Gavin that he didn’t think this Sira would be getting out anytime soon. Barbara nodded, before glancing at their intertwined hands, and grinning, patting Michael on the back.

“Good job there Mikey.” She said without any context, as Gavin and Michael both had been focused on the newcomer. Michael was confused for about half a second before she shrugged her hand off his shoulder.

“Whatever, do you think we should go talk to the dude and see where he stands on all this shit?” Michael suggested as he squeezed Gavin’s hand. A few others were noticing their presence, but didn’t say anything about it. Barbara visually froze up at the thought of just suddenly talking to him, and she quickly hurried off without a word, Gavin could hear her breaths getting heavier, and as she exited the room could have sworn he heard a sob.

“Panic attacks, bad ones. We try not to trigger her too much, but she never wants to tell us what triggers her, so we just try to be gentle around her, but still treat her as a human.” Gavin nodded when Michael explained, before turning back to Ryan. After a moment, Michael pulled Gavin forward, much to his surprise, and moved across the room until he was sitting across from Ryan.

“Hello.” Michael said, almost like a question, but at the same time a smile was hinted in his tone. Ryan glanced up, nodding in acknowledgement, before staring back into his cup. Gavin studied Ryan, before noticing a ratty cow sitting on the man’s lap. Gavin leaned forward slightly, trying to get a better look at the thing, when he noticed Ryan watching him carefully, and almost moving the cow away from him. Gavin sat back up when he noticed that Ryan held the cow in a power position, and obviously didn’t want anyone touching it besides himself. Gavin scowled slightly, but didn’t press the issue, and sat back up. Michael seemed to be struggling to make conversation, so Gavin jumped in, Michael smiling at him thankfully.

“So what do you think of the hospital so far?”

“Why are you two talking to me?” Ryan shot back, not answering the question. Gavin stuttered for a moment, glancing at Michael who was glaring. When Michael was angry, Gavin found, he could be quite scary for a smaller guy.

“We came to talk to you because we didn’t think you had a stick up your ass.” Michael replied with his voice almost even and calm, but a slight waver of rage gave him away. Gavin squeezed his hand again, attempting to calm him down, but when Ryan raised an eyebrow, Michael took a deep breath, before standing up, and pulling Gavin with him.

“We tried, right Gav?” Michael said, asking for assurance that he had at least tried to make friends with him. The dude had made Michael feel wrong, and he had just wanted to get out of there. Along with his obsession with this ‘Edgar’ person, it was more than enough to give him shivers, and not the good kind either..

“I think Edgar is the cow.” Gavin said suddenly when they were out of earshot of Ryan.

“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?” Michael asked, swinging around to look at his- er… His thought process was derailed for a minute, what had he just been about to call Gavin?

“The cow that he was holding, didn’t you notice it? It was ratty and old, and when he saw me looking he kept it really close to him.” Michael was pulled back into the waking world by Gavin’s voice, and glanced across the room at Ryan, who was still sitting there, drinking his god damn fucking hot chocolate like he’s a fucking- Michael took a deep shuddering breath, before really looking at Ryan. He nodded when he saw the cow, looking back at Gavin.

“Yeah, that could be the Edgar dude, but it’s also a stuffed animal.” Michael quirked an eyebrow, when Gavin shook his head.

“You don’t understand, like Barbara said, I think he’s also a schizophrenic, but he’s imagining the cow is real! Like a pet, you know! It has happened to a few people, I saw something like it in England.” He said, before leaning against the wall. Michael nodded slowly, putting two and two together in his head. Almost instantly, he felt kinda bad for acting that way towards someone. It was obvious that he was new, and felt uncomfortable with all the people staring at him, and nothing would excuse Michael of his actions.

“Well fuck.” Michael said after a moment, before leaning his head forward and resting on Gavin shoulder. Hesitantly, Gavin patted the back of his head, which felt surprisingly nice. He tilted his head into the hand, before looking at Gavin and grinning. They pulled away from each other, before Michael started walking towards the balconies, knowing that Gavin would follow. They opened the door to one of the empty balconies, before Michael took a seat on the cement ground that chilled him through his outfit. He rubbed at his legs vigorously, wishing that he had been able to keep his jeans. Gavin sat next to him, looking concerned, but Michael quickly shrugged it off, turning to look at Gavin. In the back of his mind, he knew why he was out here, but he also wished that he had at least had the sense to ask for his button up sweater that morning.

“Are you cold? I can go get my sweater.” Gavin offered, rubbing his own covered arms. The snow was still falling, landing half off on the balcony, and the other half handed on the edge. A gust of wind occasionally blew some farther in, but Michael sat far back enough that it wouldn’t reach him. Gavin shuffled slightly, feeling awkward in the silence.

“So why are we out here?” He asked after another few minutes of silence. Michael looked out across the balcony, before reaching over and taking Gavin’s hand, pulling him close.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you, about…” He trailed off, holding up their hands for a moment before letting them drop into his lap. Gavin paused for a moment, before understanding what he meant.

“Didn’t you say before that this wasn’t middle school?” Gavin scoffed, grinning. Michael laughed, nodding.“Yeah, I did say that, but this is a bit more important, you know?” Michael said after he stopped laughing, leaning slightly into the warmth Gavin offered. Gavin nodded softly, wrapping his arms around Michael, careful as to not jostle him.

“Well, this is going nowhere quickly.” Michael said after a few minutes of silence, causing Gavin to laugh. He leaned forward, tapping him on his large nose playfully.

“You’re a goof.” He said after a moment, laughing himself. They both eventually settled down, occasional giggles pushing out until finally Michael buried his head into Gavin’s side, mumbling into it,

“I really do like you Gavin, and I hope you like me too, and I just want to be able to all of that couple shit, you know?” He said quickly, before burying his face again, not letting Gavin see his blush. He was bad at telling people his feeling, especially with his friends or a therapist. He didn’t understand why people cared about it, so he would never say anything. Gavin shifted slightly, before wrapping his arms around Michael into a strange side hug.

“I like you too Michael.” And with a pause, he started laughing. When noticing that Michael looked hurt, he quickly explained that he wasn’t laughing at him, more laughing at the fact that he felt like some thirteen year old telling her crush she like likes him. Michael shook his head, punching Gavin lightly in the side.

“You’re horrible at this, telling each other our feelings and shit.” He said, before letting himself fall back into Gavins’ side. They stayed like this for a while, just sitting together, before Michael started shivering, and asked Gavin if they could go back inside. Gavin nodded, standing up while pulling Michael with him.

“So where to now Michael?” Gavin asked, earning a shrug from Michael. “Want to just explore? See if we can find anything we haven’t seen before?”

“I don’t think there’s a place around here I haven’t seen before, Gavin. I’ve been here for like, five years. I think I’ve found everything there is to find.” Michael said, pushing Gavin playfully. Gavin let go of his arm, raising his eyebrow.

“Want to play tag then?” He asked, just spewing random ideas. Michael laughed, but agreed, as it was better than just walking around aimlessly. “Alright, I’ll be it first.” He said, and Michael took off running as fast as he could, swiftly avoiding people in the hallway. Gavin laughed when he noticed the shoes he was wearing were skidding on the floor before giving chase once Michael had a decent enough escape.

Gavin eventually cornered him in the game room, where he was attempting to hide behind one of the game shelves. A few people had given them strange looks, but they hadn’t been stopped, so Michael nodded to Gavin as a ‘start running’ gesture, before closing his eyes firmly. Gavin was confused for a minute, staring at him, before Michael opening his eyes and quickly lunged at Gavin, tackling him to the ground.

“Did you even try to fucking run Gavin?!” Michael screeched as he straddled his chest, shaking his head. Gavin let out a laugh that sounded almost like a giggle, before trying to push Michael off him.

“Why’d you close your eyes?” Gavin asked when realizing that Michael wasn’t budging.

“You’re supposed to close your eyes when playing tag, that way you don’t know where the person is! You never played it like that?” Michael asked, tilting his head doggishly. Gavin shook his head, still looking up at Michael while trying to hold back giggle sounding laughter.

"Well I didn't know, okay?" Gavin replied with a grin. Michael shook his head, before softly punching Gavin's shoulder before getting up. He held out his hand to help Gavin up, shaking his head.

"Let's do something else instead." Michael said, pulling Gavin up. "How about hide and seek?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. Gavin shook his head though, saying that Michael knew all the best hiding spots, and Gavin would never be able to find him. Michael shook his head slightly, before leaning against the wall.

“I don’t know then, Gavin. What should we do?” Gavin shrugged when Michael asked him, which caused Michael to roll his eyes. “Then why don’t we go bug some of the nurses?” Gavin seemed panicked, shaking his head.

“I would get in trouble Michael! I couldn’t do that, I don’t want to be taken away to one of the white rooms!” Gavin quickly said, shaking his head. Michael sighed, cuffing the side of Gavin’s head softly.

“They’re not going to put you in a white room for fucking around, if they did, I would have been long gone.” Michael said, shaking his head at Gavin. After a bit of convincing, Gavin finally agreed, and they went to find Jack, who usually ran the pranks, as he had most of the good ideas.

“Jack, Gavin and I are bored; did you have any ideas lately for getting the nurses?” They had finally found Jack in his room, reading a book, and were now standing in the doorway, blocking the way out until Jack agreed to give them a plan. After a few minutes of this, Jack finally cracked, pushing the two of them aside and closing the door, gesturing for them to come closer.

“Alright, there might be one.” Jack said; pausing as Michael raised an eyebrow.

“Is it any good? Because I don’t want to end up being fucked off because your idea was shit.” Jack waved him off, before starting to explain the plan. Gavin had to admit, the man was good at making up things to do when bored. Jack leaned down, pulling the prank’s main object out from under his bed.

“It might take a little while to get it blown up, but trust me, it will be worth it. Even if you don’t get in trouble,” At this, he glanced at Michael with accusing eyes, “It will still look cool, and probably you’ll get hurt.” Jack chuckled at Gavin face, shaking his head.

“Is he always like this?” Jack asked Michael, shrugging towards Gavin. Michael shrugged, before reaching for the green bouncy inflatable ball. They quickly left Jacks’ room, and Michael led Gavin towards the front desk.

“Is Josh here today?” Michael asked with a sweet tone, trying to make himself look childlike. The nurse smiled at him, shaking her head. Michael stuck out his bottom lip, pouting while looking at Gavin. “I guess we won’t be able to play with the ball your friend bought you, Gavin. I’m sorry.” He said, glancing over at the nurse when he had turned his face away. The nurse seemed to be contemplating something, before finally calling Michael back over, and grabbing the flat green ball.

“I’ll blow it up for you two, but you owe me one.” The nurse said, before going to the back, where apparently, they kept a machine to blow up balls for some reason. Gavin was confused when Michael turned to him with a wide grin.

“Told you I’d get the ball blown up, Gavin.” He said, before turning back as the nurse came back with their ball. Michael took it quickly, with less than a thank you, and quickly started jogging towards the rec room, telling Gavin that it would be funnier with more people. They gathered a quite large group of people, attracted by the bright green ball. Even Ryan was following them from a distance, eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he didn’t say anything to either of them.

The group mostly consisted of people Gavin didn’t know that well, but he had seen around, or on the pizza trip. He recognized Joel, Kara, Lindsay and Barbara, and smiled at Barbara when she waved at him, she was almost jumping in excitement. They discussed where they would be using the ball, and Michael suggested the balcony, but Kara quickly shot down the suggestion, saying that Michael wasn’t allowed there, and the ball might go over the bars and hit someone down below. Michael shifted nervously when she said this, glancing at Gavin as if to say surprise, before suggesting a long hallway. Joel piped up about one he knew of, that was on his floor. It wasn’t very frequently used because of its length, and they started heading towards it quickly. A few nurses gave them strange looks as they walked by, but they weren’t stopped to be questioned about it, which Gavin took at a good sign.

“Alright, Gavin and I get to go first!” Michael proclaimed when they arrived at the hallway, going towards one end of the hall, stopping a quarter of the way there. He didn’t want to get far away enough that the ball would break. Gavin did the same, laughing quietly under his breath, covering his mouth. They both readied themselves, before starting to run at full speed towards each other. When the collided, Gavin bounced off the ball, landing on his ass on the ground, laughing. Michael seemed to just spin, steading his steps before stopping, still holding onto the ball as he glanced around it at Gavin, before bursting out laughing as well.

“Okay, that’s fucking fun. Who’s next?” They were playing with the ball for a couple hours before a nurse finally decided to investigate where the shrieks and laughter was coming from, coming up the stairs just as Barbara and Lindsay ran towards each other, hitting the ball and bouncing off, the ball flying up in the air and almost hitting Ryan, who had opened up slightly, and had taken a few turns. The nurse took away the ball, scolding them all, saying how they could have hurt themselves, before shaking her head at all of them. She turned towards Michael, scowling.

“Michael, you planned this, didn’t you?” He quickly put up his hands in innocence, shaking his head.

“Wasn’t me, miss. But I had the ball sent to me in an unmarked package. I don’t know who gave it to me, but I decided to share it, so that we could all have a bit of fun, and be happy for once in this fucking sob shelter.” He shot back quickly, getting more annoyed by the second. “And since it’s my property, I would like it back now please.” He walked towards the nurse, who backed away nervously.

“You won’t get it back until later this month, as punishment for causing all this trouble. And Michael, I know that you don’t get mail, who gave you this ball?” Michael looked slightly offended, staring at the nurse.

“No one, I got it in the mail.” After arguing with him for a few minutes, the nurse finally sighed, and started back downstairs. Most of the group had dispersed, complaining about the nurse by then, only a few people had stuck by to the end. Barbara, once the nurse had turned away, stuck up her finger at her back, before turning back to Lindsay, where she still sat on  the floor, frowning. She held out her hand, helping the girl up before turning to Gavin and Michael.

“Well that sucks.” She said, following Lindsay’s lead and letting a frown creep onto her face. Michael nodded, before turning to the last person who had stayed behind. Ryan stood to the side, still clutching his creepy cow thing, looking at his feet. Really, he looked pitiful.

“Hey, uh… Sorry for everything I said earlier. You two actually seem pretty nice, and I guess I was being a jackass.” Michael shrugged, holding out his hand to Ryan with a smile.

“It’s fine man, I’ve basically forgotten about it now. My names Michael and this is Gavin.” Michael said, shaking hands with Ryan, gesturing with his free hand at Gavin as he said his name. Gavin waved, still nervous.

“Ryan, but I think you both already know that. I don’t think they realize I can hear them when they talk about me.” Ryan said, glancing towards Barbara and Lindsay, who were talking between the two of them. Gavin felt a ping of sympathy towards Ryan; he knew what it was like to be talked about as if you weren’t able to hear their taunts.

“Yeah, they’re not exactly the best at keeping their voices down.” Michael said, nodding. Gavin was looking at the cow carefully, not wanting to call attention to it until he really had to. This, apparently to his mind, was now.

“Uh, what’s the cow thing, Ryan?” Gavin asked, after a moment realizing what he said and covering his mouth, which seemed to like to betray him lately.

 

 

“Oh, this was my big brothers, before he died last year. He gave it to me just before he died. It’s called Edgar.” Ryan said, obviously struggling to keep his voice steady when he talked about his brother. He opened his arms, revealing that the cow wasn’t very nice looking, to say the least. It was ratty and dirty as Gavin had suspected, but it seemed important to Ryan, as he still held it close to himself as he spoke.

“I’ve kept it with me to remind me that I wasn’t always crazy, and that I might be able to be cured.” Gavin nodded, glancing at Michael with a small smile. He was right about Edgar as well.

“What do you have, if you don’t mind me asking?” Michael said, glancing at Gavin as well with a nod.

“Schizo, but not that bad; I can control it most of the time.” He explained with a shrug. Gavin nodded slightly, his hallucinations had started to act up again within the past hour, but he had been able to ignore them fairly well.

“Gavin here has had Schizo most of his life, haven’t you Gav?” Michael asked, turning towards his roommate with a questioning stare. Gavin nodded, trying to smile.

“I was cured for a couple years, and then went into relapse.” They continued talking to Ryan for a while, until they finally were told that lunch was soon by a passing by nurse, and bid him goodbye, starting to head down to the cafeteria. They passed by a small empty room, but not before Michael pulled him into the room and pulled his head down, planting a kiss on Gavin’s lips. It wasn’t the most romantic first kiss, Gavin thought, but it was his, and as he pulled Michael a little bit closer, he knew that even if both him and Michael never got out of here, he had someone here that cared for him, that knew that, just by loving him, he wouldn’t get better, but still loved him for all of him. And that’s what was important to him, was that he didn’t have to change for him.

“I love you Gavin.” Michael mumbled when they finally pulled away, resting his head on Gavin’s shoulder, a small smile on his face. Gavin wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist, kissing the top of his head before he replied.

“I love you too Michael."

~Epilogue~

Michael sat in the rows of the church next to Gavin, holding tightly onto his hand as he watched the wedding proceed. There were many people sitting in the rows, some he recognized from Gavin’s descriptions, while others he had no idea who they were, but Gavin seemed to know them as they smiled brightly at him. He had just gotten out of the mental hospital a year before, having finally banished Geoff and his family from his mind. He was distraught at first about it, crying about how he had forced them to leave, about how it was his fault, how he should be alone, but Michael had comforted him once he had received the call. He had been let out two years previously, and had bought an apartment off of his pay from the shop he worked at. The apartment was only a few blocks away from the hospital, so he was never too far away from Gavin.

“You know, it’s going to be me and you up there one day, I hope.” Gavin whispered into his ear, causing Michael to jump. He had been lost in his thoughts. Michael shook his head slightly, shoving Gavin in the shoulder softly.

“Shut up you dork.” He whispered back, kissing him on the cheek. Gavin laughed quietly, leaning onto Michael heavily. He knew that Michael didn’t always feel the best about himself, swearing how he shouldn’t be on this earth, but Gavin would always tell him that he loved him, and hold him close. Michael had stopped trying to cut himself after two months of Gavin constantly telling him this, and keeping his clothes with zippers away from him. The hospital finally let him wear his own clothes again after he was clean for a year, and released him two years later. He had been clean for six years, with a little help from the small group of friends that he kept in contact with from the hospital. Gavin and Michael both worked at a video game store that they owned, but they played the games more often than they sold them. Often, they would let the kids from the hospital come in and get a few free games, as the library at the hospital was outdated, to say the least.

They had kept in good contact with quite a few people; Ryan had been let out after three years of being in the hospital, but had visited the hospital every weekend with stories of how his wife and child were doing. They hadn’t known that Ryan had been married until a year after they had met him, but had met them a month later when they came to visit. Barbara hadn’t been let out yet, but was allowed to visit friends who lived in town on her own, which was an improvement from her earlier self, who was barely allowed to leave the hospital. Lindsay, Jack, Joel and Monty all worked on a TV show now, of which most of their friends were guest stars consistently. Ray and Dan had announced their engagement three months after Gavin had been let out of the hospital, saying they were waiting until their best friends were able to attend. Michael smiled to himself, looking over at Gavin, who looked incredible in a tux. He laughed softly at his thoughts, before turning to the front of the room, where Dan was standing next to Ray, looking extremely nervous, but very happy. Ray was wearing a grin that told everyone that he was probably the happiest person in the room at the moment, adjusting the rose that he insisted on wearing in the pocket of the black tux he was wearing. Michael had to admit, both of them looked amazing. He rubbed at his eyes, because he was defiantly not crying, before the priest started the vows.

The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was amazing. Lindsay and Barbara had stayed friends, and she had brought Barbara to the wedding. She was currently being followed around by Jack, who had started working at the hospital as well as the TV show. Michael laughed when he saw Jack tap Barbara on the shoulder, causing her to jump, then, realizing who it was, quickly hug him tightly. She milled about, bubbling with excitement before finally finding Gavin and Michael, who were talking with Ryan and his wife towards the doors. They had to leave, as their babysitter wasn’t able to stay after midnight. Ryan bent down, and gave Barbara a quick hug, before bidding all of them a wonderful night, and telling Gavin he would text him later. He was a developer for the Xbox now, and had promised Gavin and Michael they would get to try out any game he made before he released it.

“So you two, how have you been?” Barbara asked once Ryan had left, pulling both of them into a hug at the same time. Michael grinned at Barbara, shrugging.

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’ve been okay, I’ve had to deal with this asshole though.” Michael said, pointing at Gavin, who shoved him gently, shaking his head. Barbara laughed, and turned to talk to Gavin with a large grin plastered on her face. Michael smiled lightly, looking over the small group that was nearby. He knew that none of them were perfect, and each of them had deep seated problems that either had been cured, or pushed to the side for the while, but he also knew that, come one of them need help, Gavin and him would be there, as they would be for him if he needed it. Sure, they weren’t cured by love, but it had helped, even just the tiniest bit, that they all knew that there were people that cared for them. And right now, that was all Michael cared about. This was his family, and it was broken to hell, but it was his, and that’s all that mattered. And later that night, when Gavin and Michael lay next to each other in bed, Gavin curled into Michaels’ chest, Michael felt almost whole, and he was happier than he had been in a long time.

 


End file.
